Roger W Plantikow

• Marriage & Family Therapist

• Psychotherapist

Psychotherapy helps individuals, couples, and families work through painful and pressing difficulties. For some the difficulties are depression, anxiety, loss of sense of self or direction. For others, there is a failed relationship or one endangered by betrayal(s) or years of inadequate communication. I believe therapy must be focused, fair, and safe. Our success will depend on the quality of our working relationship. If we work together, I will make a serious commitment to your well being.

I have been a therapist as well as a teacher of individual and marital therapy for many years. Through this I have come to know that with a strong therapist at your side even the most difficult problems can be dealt with effectively.

For example, learning about a partner’s affair is an agonizing experience. Participating in an affair is also very stressful on many levels. Hopes have been damaged even destroyed, trust has been lost, and neither person sees a clear way forward. Friends and relatives can be helpful with their empathy and support, but mostly unhelpful with their advice. Simple answers do not appreciate the complexity of a marriage on the brink. In John Updike's novel Rabbit Redux, he describes Janice and Harry, a couple in their 40's, as a couple who had become "locked rooms to each other." They could hear each other crying from under the door...but they couldn't get in...or, maybe more accurately, they didn't want to get in—or, just needed help getting in. Healing can happen!

Recovery is possible. A healthy marriage is possible as is a healthy divorce if need be. I have worked with many couples over the years who have found health through the hard work of marital therapy. It always entails courage in facing difficult feelings and being emotionally honest. It has been a privilege to journey with couples determined to come to terms with what has happened, take responsibility for their part, and work to forge new life, whether together or apart.

Some times help is needed just to decide whether to venture into this therapeutic work . Marital therapy just to be able to say “I tried " can be a diversion from the hard work, because this doesn’t take seriously one of the most important decisions of one’s life.

Affairs are not always physical or emotional. Sometimes the betrayal comes as emotional abuse, or financial control or bullying. If working through betrayal is what you want to do, I would be most willing to meet with you to see if we might be a good fit for this process.

Contact Information

80 East Main Street - Apt 5 • Mendham, New Jersey 07945

Phone: (908) 418-1310

E-mail: rplantikow@icloud.com

Licensed Marital Therapist NJMFT


Reflection

A man saw a ball of gold in the sky;
He climbed for it,
And eventually he achieved it --
It was clay.

Now this is the strange part:
When the man went to the earth
And looked again,
Lo, there was the ball of gold.
Now this is the strange part:
It was a ball of gold.
Aye, by the heavens, it was a ball of gold.

A Ball of Gold, by Stephen Crane

  • Gender: Male
    Years in Practice: 40+ Years
    Avg Cost (per session): $150 - $250
    Sliding Scale: Yes
    Accepts Credit Cards: Yes

    Accepts Insurance: Yes — While not a participant in, I will be happy to assist in obtaining out-of-network reimbursement.


    • Ethnicity: Any

    • Gender: All

    • Religious Orientation: Any

    • Gay/Lesbian Expertise: Yes

    • Age: Adults, Elders

    • B.A., Yale University

    • M.Div., Yale Divinity School

    • D.Min., Andover-Newton Theological School at Yale Divinity School

    • Certificate received from Blanton-Peale Graduate Institute for completing its two year Residency in Marriage and Family Therapy

    • Certificate received from Blanton-Peale Graduate Institute for completing its three year Residency in Psychotherapy

    • New Jersey Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist No. 37F100038300 

    • Clinical Fellow of Marriage Friendly Therapists

    • Ordained clergy within the United Methodist Church

  • • Private Practice of Individual, Marital and Family Psychotherapy in Westfield, Springfield, and Lebanon New Jersey (since 1970)

    • Individual, Marital and Family Therapy Faculties, Blanton-Peale Graduate Institute of the Institutes of Religion and Health, New York City (1981-1999)

    • Director of Psychotherapy Training, Blanton-Peale Graduate Institute of the Institutes of Religion and Health, New York City (1981-1999)

    • President of the Institutes of Religion and Health, New York City (1983-90)

  • Psychodynamic

    Object Relations Theory

    Attachment Theory

    Emotionally Focused

    Serving
    • Individuals
    • Couples

    • Relationship Issues

    • Rebuilding After Affairs

    • Depression

    • Loss or Grief

    • Anxiety or Fears

    • Divorce

    • Elderly Persons Issues

    • Gay Lesbian Issues

    • Parenting

    • Sex Therapy

    • Spirituality

    • Personality Disorders


    (Strengths are in bold)

  • As one who has been involved in training individual and marital therapist and clergy for over thirty-five years, I welcome the opportunity to provide supervision or consultation for clinicians and clergy.  I believe the quality of the helping relationship is crucial to individual and relational growth.  That being said, having solid theory in the background of one's mind is also very important. For me Psychodynamic, Object Relations, and Attachment Theory are very grounding.